The love languages are a useful resource for understanding, relating with, and expressing love to others. If we know someone’s love language, it can help us understand how to show them love in a way that they will receive and appreciate. The love languages can also help shape how we create this experience for ourselves, which is key because in order to relate effectively with others, we must cultivate our understanding and relationship within.

The five love language concepts were created by author and counselor Gary Chapman, who has expressed the intention of this work as helping people to love better and grow closer. The concepts include physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and gifts. While it’s possible that all of them resonate with you on some level, it’s likely that one or two are more predominant. This quiz will reveal your love language.

Here is a snapshot of each one with examples of ways that we can apply them to creating the standard of love that is true to us.

Physical Touch

If you feel love and appreciation through physical connection and physical intimacy, then physical touch is your love language.

  • Take a warm, relaxing bath
  • Moisturize your skin
  • Give yourself a manicure/pedicure
  • Style your hair
  • Give yourself a facial
  • Exercise
  • Stretch

Words of Affirmation

This is your love language if you prioritize being loved out loud – clearly and deeply through written and spoken words.

  • Write and speak affirmations to yourself
  • Write personal love notes and empowering quotes on index cards or post-its and place them on your mirror or desk, or in your car console or handbag to read throughout the day
  • Journal all the reasons you’re proud of yourself
  • Keep a gratitude jar. Every time something good happens to you, write it down on a slip of paper, fold it and place it in the jar. At the end of the month, open and read each one.

Quality Time

If you value spending one-on-one time, whether in quiet moments or through intimate activities/experiences, then quality time is your love language.

  • Spend the day at the pool or beach
  • Go for a sunrise or sunset walk
  • Take yourself on a date to dinner, the movies, a show/concert, the gym, etc.
  • Watch a movie or marathon of shows you enjoy
  • Do a puzzle
  • Read
  • Play a game
  • Paint or draw

Acts of Service

This love language expresses itself through action. If you love to have things done for you, then acts of service is your love language.

  • Cook for yourself
  • Organize/sanitize your home, office, car, etc.
  • Have a spa day
  • Start a personal project you’ve been holding off on

Gifts

This is your love language if you appreciate experiencing love by receiving gifts that indicate someone has thought about you, knows you well and can identify what you would like.

  • Buy yourself flowers
  • Take yourself shopping for your favorite things
  • Gift yourself the new item you’ve been eyeing for some time
  • Stop for your favorite dessert on the way home
  • For one whole day, treat yourself to any and everything you want

Photo: The Lazy Artist Gallery